Tag Archives: Online Dating

Did He Really?

14 Jul

So I spoke earlier about this guy I met online and things seemed to be going well, when out of the blue I got a text that said not to bother him anymore. See Dating Ass #1.

About three weeks after that crazy text, I got a text then a call at 2:30 in the morning. I ignored them, but then got another text saying it was important and he called again. Thinking something may be wrong, I answered. He asked why I hadn’t contacted him. I reminded him of the text and he said that he didn’t send it. I told him to call me later and let me get back to sleep.

He didn’t call the next day, but on Saturday sent a text at 7 a.m. I replied later that day and asked if knew what appropriate hours were. When we spoke again I asked about the text and he swore he didn’t send it, but that he did get my message that said “why?” I asked why he didn’t respond to that, but he had no real answer.

So for the last couple weeks he has started calling and texting again, even though I have expressed my anger over the first text message. I mean seriously, I’m almost 30. I’m not completely stupid. I know if he didn’t send the message, that a girl he’s seeing probably sent it. My phone has never sent me mysterious text messages before attached to a contacts name.

What Happened to Courting?

14 Jul

Back in the day, my great-grandmother talked to me about how my grandfather courted her. He picked her up from her home. Spoke with her parents. Brought flowers or other gifts. They sat in the parlor and talked for hours.

Most men nowadays don’t even bother. Many think a horn honk outside is just as good as coming to the door. Men barely give gifts, unless it’s a special occasion, and that’s usually only if you have been dating a while. I know some guys that break up around Thanksgiving, just to get back together after New Year’s so they don’t have to buy holiday gifts.

But I wonder why men changed? Was it the technology? Did the telephone, movies and television make one-on-one conversations unnecessary. What about the feminist movement? Women trying to be equal to men and saying they can open their own doors, pay for their own meals. Did we make men feel like we didn’t need them?

I want a guy that opens doors for me, calls me just to say “I’m thinking about you”, and brings me flowers just because. Though I like a guy that asks where or what I want to do, I also want a guy to make some decisions. Don’t always ask me, you choose something. Show me what you like to do. Don’t ask me out and then expect me to call you on the night of the date. And be considerate. I’m tired of guys that want to take you out after 10 p.m. I think a guy is only thinking of one thing at that time of night.

So can anyone tell me where the men are that still act like gentlemen? And preferably men in my age bracket.

Online Dating Ass #1

15 Jun

Starting talking to a pretty decent guy online. For the first couple of weeks we spoke on the phone for hours and sent several text messages everyday. Everything seemed like it was going to be great. When we first started talking, he said he had to go out-of-town for about two weeks. So that delayed our first meeting.

A few days after he came back, he called me and wanted to meet up like right then. Unfortunately, I already had plans and told him that I usually needed more notice. Plus, my profile clearly states that I’m a busy person.

The text messages started coming less frequently, and he completely stopped calling. When I asked what was going on he said he was out-of-town again and busy with work. I was cool with it. I had my own things to take care of in my life.

Unexpectedly a couple of weeks later, on a Sunday afternoon, he sent a text saying lets meet at a downtown bar. Well once again, I already had plans. He then said that I was the one procrastinating on wanting to meet. I told him the ball was in his court since he was always of town or busy with work. When I asked if we could meet during the next week, he said he was leaving town on Wednesday. I suggested Monday or Tuesday before he left, but he said he was going to be busy with work.

We didn’t have communication after that. On Friday, I sent a text to say hi. His reply was “dude don’t text me no more”.  I mean seriously!?!? I’m positive I didn’t do anything, except not be available at the drop of a dime when he wanted. So, if he didn’t like that, then he shouldn’t have answered my profile that stated “busy, independent and spends a lot of time with family and friends”.

I’ve learned that I’m not changing myself for any man. I am looking for someone who will accept me for the person that I am. Don’t expect me to be available for you when ever you want.

No Daddy Issues

15 Jun

I’ll be 30 soon and already feel much older. I’ve usually dated older men, usually because I have more in common with them. The most I’ve gone dating a guy that was 14 years my senior (see My First Online Relationship for details). So I already know what it’s like. What I can’t understand about online dating is all the guys that are 45 and older asking me to go out.

I actually plainly stated on my profile that I wasn’t looking for anyone over 39. Since I know I want a family one day, I don’t really want to waste my time on older guys that have kids my age. I’ve had guys 50 plus asking me out. Sorry, but that is older than my dad! My dad and I are really close and I have no daddy issues.

So I’ve taken the route of not even answering these guys. I don’t feel that I’m being rude, because it’s clearly stated on my profile. I’d prefer to meet a guy my age. But there honestly doesn’t seem to be that many good ones out there that are single, have a job and straight. Doesn’t seem like my standards are that high!

I’ll be 30 soon and already feel much older. I’ve usually dated older men, usually because I have more in common with them. The most I’ve gone dating a guy that was 14 years my senior (please see My First Online Date for details on that relationship). So I already know what it’s like. What I can’t understand about online dating is all the guys that are 45 and older asking me to go out.

I actually plainly stated on my profile that I wasn’t looking for anyone over 39. Since I know I want a family one day, I don’t really want to waste my time on older guys that have kids my age. I’ve had guys 50 plus asking me out. Sorry, but that is older than my dad! My dad and I are really close and I have no daddy issues.

So I’ve taken the route of not even answering these guys. I don’t feel that I’m being rude, because it’s clearly stated on my profile. I’d prefer to meet a guy my age. But there honestly doesn’t seem to be that many good ones out there that are single, have a job and straight. Doesn’t seem like my standards are that high!

My First Online Relationship

15 Jun

I’ve done the online dating thing before. In fact, years ago before it was very popular. I found it was a great way to weed out some of the guys. A way to get to know someone before you actually went out (cause blind dates suck!). I actually find a really nice guy and we dated for a few years.

Though me and this person had a lot in common, he was several years older than me. Fourteen to be exact, but I think of myself as an old soul. We had fun going out and even staying at home. But as the years passed, it was time to think about where the relationship was headed.

Being older than me, he had already lived a full life, I was just 22 when we met. But often that was what I liked about him. He understood me starting a career, trying to buy a house and a lot of other things that guys my age weren’t doing. He was very encouraging. But after four years I wondered where we were headed.

I soon began to realize it would go nowhere. He had already been married and had children in high school. And made it very clear that he didn’t want anymore children when he had a vasectomy. So even though I cared about this guy a lot, I realized that it would not be the future that I imagined. The wedding, children, family vacations would all be things I would never get from him.

So after tons of talking, we ended things. We’re still friends, but realized that we were in two different places in our lives.  So now I am out there online dating once again. Hoping to find a guy that shares my values and wants the things that I want.