Starting talking to a pretty decent guy online. For the first couple of weeks we spoke on the phone for hours and sent several text messages everyday. Everything seemed like it was going to be great. When we first started talking, he said he had to go out-of-town for about two weeks. So that delayed our first meeting.
A few days after he came back, he called me and wanted to meet up like right then. Unfortunately, I already had plans and told him that I usually needed more notice. Plus, my profile clearly states that I’m a busy person.
The text messages started coming less frequently, and he completely stopped calling. When I asked what was going on he said he was out-of-town again and busy with work. I was cool with it. I had my own things to take care of in my life.
Unexpectedly a couple of weeks later, on a Sunday afternoon, he sent a text saying lets meet at a downtown bar. Well once again, I already had plans. He then said that I was the one procrastinating on wanting to meet. I told him the ball was in his court since he was always of town or busy with work. When I asked if we could meet during the next week, he said he was leaving town on Wednesday. I suggested Monday or Tuesday before he left, but he said he was going to be busy with work.
We didn’t have communication after that. On Friday, I sent a text to say hi. His reply was “dude don’t text me no more”. I mean seriously!?!? I’m positive I didn’t do anything, except not be available at the drop of a dime when he wanted. So, if he didn’t like that, then he shouldn’t have answered my profile that stated “busy, independent and spends a lot of time with family and friends”.
I’ve learned that I’m not changing myself for any man. I am looking for someone who will accept me for the person that I am. Don’t expect me to be available for you when ever you want.
I’ll be 30 soon and already feel much older. I’ve usually dated older men, usually because I have more in common with them. The most I’ve gone dating a guy that was 14 years my senior (see My First Online Relationship for details). So I already know what it’s like. What I can’t understand about online dating is all the guys that are 45 and older asking me to go out.
I actually plainly stated on my profile that I wasn’t looking for anyone over 39. Since I know I want a family one day, I don’t really want to waste my time on older guys that have kids my age. I’ve had guys 50 plus asking me out. Sorry, but that is older than my dad! My dad and I are really close and I have no daddy issues.
So I’ve taken the route of not even answering these guys. I don’t feel that I’m being rude, because it’s clearly stated on my profile. I’d prefer to meet a guy my age. But there honestly doesn’t seem to be that many good ones out there that are single, have a job and straight. Doesn’t seem like my standards are that high!
I’ve done the online dating thing before. In fact, years ago before it was very popular. I found it was a great way to weed out some of the guys. A way to get to know someone before you actually went out (cause blind dates suck!). I actually find a really nice guy and we dated for a few years.
Though me and this person had a lot in common, he was several years older than me. Fourteen to be exact, but I think of myself as an old soul. We had fun going out and even staying at home. But as the years passed, it was time to think about where the relationship was headed.
Being older than me, he had already lived a full life, I was just 22 when we met. But often that was what I liked about him. He understood me starting a career, trying to buy a house and a lot of other things that guys my age weren’t doing. He was very encouraging. But after four years I wondered where we were headed.
I soon began to realize it would go nowhere. He had already been married and had children in high school. And made it very clear that he didn’t want anymore children when he had a vasectomy. So even though I cared about this guy a lot, I realized that it would not be the future that I imagined. The wedding, children, family vacations would all be things I would never get from him.
So after tons of talking, we ended things. We’re still friends, but realized that we were in two different places in our lives. So now I am out there online dating once again. Hoping to find a guy that shares my values and wants the things that I want.
So as a person that creates social media campaigns for other people and businesses, I know I need to create a strategic plan for myself. I’ve seen Hajj Flemings speak several times about “personal branding”. Other conferences have said that you should use your blog and Twitter to express on what subject matter you are an expert. Well I honestly don’t have much that I think people would have an interest.
I could talk about work, but honestly talking about news trends, social media and healthcare isn’t that fun when you do it all day. Besides there are people much more versed in these subjects than me.
I love social media, but I can’t tell anyone on Twitter how to make their tweets more effective. The people that I follow are already great (so check out some of the people I follow).
So on what subjects am I an expert? I sometimes ask myself that question everyday. But these are the things that I have concluded I know most about:
- Single and almost 30
- Living in Detroit
- Looking for a new job in this economy
- Media: I love TV, movies, music, reading and the internet
So here’s my life, love it or hate it, I have to live it.